we had a pretty $#!TY meeting with Mom’s doctor this morning so we’re doing our best to lift the mood.
Now she’s loose somewhere in the home appliances department and I’m running circles listening for the faint “beep beep beep” of the reverse gear or the sound of a KitchenAid Stand Mixer crashing to the ground as she rounds the corner.
This is my family.
I made no apologies.
We find joy.
Exciting Monday night here, folks!
I started teaching Xander how to shake on Thursday and the pride I have for this animal has inflated to Dance Mom proportions (watch an episode of Dance Mom’s if you don’t get that reference).
My dog is the best.
I came back from the beach earlier this week but I never really took a vacation. Sure, I took a break from the day-to-day office hustle and Manhattan pressure but I promise you that that kind of stress is actually preferable to the kind that surfaces while sitting on an empty beach with your thoughts.
I spent hours alone. Alone by the water in a little beach chair where I typed ‘Jesus Music’ into my iPhone Pandora app and had more than a few good cries. There’s a bittersweet release in a good sob sesh, ya know?
I think I hold it together pretty damn well MOST of the time. I put on a brave face and just deal with the hard stuff life serves up. I know that no matter what happens, I’ll always be okay and I’ll make proverbial lemonade…but let me tell you something…
I. Am. Angry.
I’m angry for obvious reasons…
- because pancreatic cancer is absolute garbage.
- because my brother and I don’t tackle the tough stuff in similar ways and I, naturally, just think my way is better than his.
- because Chipotle doesn’t deliver.
- because I haven’t seen my boyfriend in weeks since work currently owns his ass and will for a while longer.
But I’ll be okay…
- because I’m strong and so are the people that support me.
- because of forgiveness.
- because there’s delivery pizza.
- because work schedules eventually ease up and I have someone who loves me deeply and communicates that all day, everyday.
I don’t even know where I’m going with this. Honestly? I needed an outlet. I needed to express my emotions and I’m dramatic so instead of writing it down in the perfectly adorable and private journal I have at home, I’m sharing it with you. Ya know how you have those friends on Facebook that post “I have a headache" status updates and then get like 87 ‘likes’ because they’re
obviously subconsciously seeking attention? Well, today that person is me…but I kinda hate Facebook…and my need for support and urge to share my feelings aren’t facilitated by a “headache”. I mean, at least I’ll own that.
While I certainly don’t regret banishing the scale to the depths of hell, I do wish I had taken some sort of “before” photo so I could see (side by side) what obvious changes there will be when I’ve completed this challenge.
I’m late to post the Week 2 updates but nobody cares, right? Exactly.
- Left Arm: 12” (same as last week)
- Right Arm: 12” (same as last week )
- Waist: 32” (down another inch)
- Hips: 41 3/8” (down 1 5/8”)
- Left Thigh: 23 3/4” (up 1/4”)
- Right Thigh: 23 3/4” (same as challenge start)
- Weight: ?
Since I left for vacation on Thursday morning, I’ve technically already completed Week 3 (which meant classes on Monday, Tuesday, and a double on Wednesday to get my 4 classes in for the week). Hopefully I don’t completely undo all the hard work I’ve done with the I’m on vacation diet I’ve strictly adhered to. The good news is that I’m super excited to get to class early Wednesday morning. I miss it.
Here’s the Week 3 pic…nice face, Em. Also, I’m pretty sure that’s a magic skinny mirror right there (actully, I know it is). I am totally cool with that. It’s all about the angles, people.
When I was little I wanted to be a marine biologist bc I thought it just meant I’d play with dolphins. I dropped the dream when they told me I had to be good at…um…biology. Well, Party Planner it is! No regrets 🐬 (at Arnica Bay)
In case you’re wondering…this is what being locked out of your apt looks like. Send help…and maybe a pizza. 🔑🍕
Looking at Xander in this picture is like seeing my reflection in a mirror.
My buddy is staying with me for a month and his presence is a really bright spot in my dimly lit heart. I’ve got the sadz but it’s not anything in particular; just a bunch of little things accumulating to overthrow my natural state of almost-makes-you-vomit happy.
Time to buck up and make like Robert Frost because “The best way out is always through”. Sometimes the simple act of acknowledging and validating your feelings is all you need to move forward.
So…something more positive…
I successfully completed my first week of the Flybarre Challenge. Going to class 4x p/week is great right now but I can see it becoming a bit laborious around week 3 or 4. We’ll see.
- Left Arm: 12” (same as challenge start)
- Right Arm: 12” (up 1/2” )
- Waist: 33” (down 3”)
- Hips: 41 3/8” (down 1 5/8”)
- Left Thigh: 23 3/4” (up 1/4”)
- Right Thigh: 23 3/4” (same as challenge start)
- Weight: 152.5 (up 1 lb. = What the?!??!)
Here’s what I’ve decided to emphasize over the next few weeks…
I need to consume more water, more veggies, and focus on fueling my body (just like I did for the marathon last year) instead of concentrating on my calorie intake. (side note and not really related…but…everyone should watch Fed Up because: sugar…the more you know).
Oh, and the scale? The batteries have been removed and it’s nicely tucked away on the tippy-top shelf of my closet. This isn’t about losing weight and obsessing over a number isn’t worth it. Stepping on that scale every week will completely negate the satisfaction that follows each class if it’s not a specific (lower) number (whispering: I will see what it says on 10/26 when the challenge is over…and post it for accountability and whatnot).
Finally, If you’re interested in checking out Flybarre, try a class with Katherine K because she’s fantastic. I’ve enjoyed all the instructors, but there’s something about the way she teaches that is really motivating.
Coming up on tomorrow’s blog agenda: I talk about pizza. Get excited.
Flywheel Challenge - The Beginning
OK people. I don’t don’t have anyone to take a before shot at the moment so just use your imagination. I tried (I really did) but all my full body selfie shots make me look supa skin-ay and, well, that’s not an accurate representation of my current physical state (um…neither are 90% of the pictures I post on this blog because: editing your life to make people think you look/live/feel a specific way. JK…I try to keep it real and save the curated stuff for Facebook). You’ll just have to accept this selfie in which I express my feelings about publishing my measurements for all the world to see. Gulp.
What’s the challenge? I’ll take (4) FlyBarre classes a week for the next (6) weeks. On some days, I’ll double down on workouts and hit up SoulCycle, FlyWheel, or run a few miles to get some cardio in (hopefully 4 days of cardio a week).
Why am I doing this? There are a few reasons. Here, let me list them out for you because I. Love. Lists.
- I need to funnel some negative energy into something positive
- I’d like to see something toned on my body. Like, anything…arms, thighs, butt (cause I’m all about that ‘base, ‘bout that base, no treble).
- I’d like to fit comfortably into any pair of the jeans I currently have.
- It sounded fun. I am lying. This does not sound fun.
Will my diet change? Yes. But I’m not “dieting”. Real food (full fat everything), lot’s of water, less wine (sad tears), and more cruciferous veggies and fruits (I just wanted to use the word cruciferous).
What are my current measurements? I’ll tell you but only if you promise not to tell anyone else, okay? Okay, cool…
- Left Arm: 12”
- Right Arm: 11 1/2”
- Waist: 36 1/4” (measured at/around belly button level)
- Hips: 43
- Left Thigh: 23 1/2”
- Right Thigh: 23 5/8”
- Weight: 151.5
- Height: 5’5”
Am I hoping to lose weight? Meh. I do want to lose weight but that’s not my main priority or goal over the next few weeks. If I can firm up a bit, change some eating habits, and lose a few inches, then everything else is just gravy. I assume that losing inches directly correlates with losing pounds…but we’ll see.
Any other questions? No, self. i think you’ve covered more than anyone wanted or needed to know with the killer selfie and weight confession combination. It’s bedtime…6:15 class tomorrow morning!
I feel like I’ve completely lost touch with the blogging world. Does anyone even read this jam anymore (that’s only kind of a serious question)? I’m hoping for a few devoted followers of whatever this thing has become (waves to Grandma and Diane) so here’s what’s going on in my world…
- Mom is holding steady and feeling good. In fact, she’s on vacation visiting family out west in Washington for the week. I miss her.
- I’m really into Flybarre and just signed up for a 6-week challenge (4 classes a week for 6 weeks). They guaranteed that I’d come out of it looking like Misty Copeland*. Does anyone want me to document the challenge? Probz not but LMK.
- Ted Talks are my newest obsession and I try to watch 1-2 of them daily. This morning I listened to Jack Andraka, a 16 year old kid, talk about how he may have developed an early detector for pancreatic cancer. I cried and wished he had been born 5 years earlier.
- Cle de Peau Concealer. Worth every penny of that $70 price tag. A close runner-up is Givenchy Mister Light for 1/2 the price at $34.
- I’m not running the NYC Marathon and I’m thrilled. I’m a one-time marathoner and instead of beating myself up about it, I’m going to focus on the fact that I’m, um, a marathon finisher (pats self on back)
- I ordered the new iPhone 6 in gold. I wanted to get the iPhone 6+ but feared it wouldn’t fit in some of my little clutch bags. These problems are real. That’s almost not even funny to joke about.
- I’m never dieting again. Ever. My metabolism is whack because I’ve yo-yo’d my entire life. I’ve always been a new-diet-craze?-sign- me-up! kind of girl but nope. Now I’m just going to eat it and own it.
- Diet stuff said, I had a blueberry doughnut from Doughnut Plant for dinner last night. Funny thing happened, though. When I just allowed myself to get it and enjoy it, I didn’t even want more than a couple of bites. Perhaps that was a fluke? I don’t know…but right now I’d really like to be owning some Cinnamon Toast Crunch on my sofa while watching Ellen or brussels sprouts from The Smith. Don’t ask questions.
- I told my boyfriend I was feeling emotional and asked him if I could get a kitten. I wasn’t kidding. He said no. Thank God because I only like cats when they belong to other people.
- Therapy is some good $#!T.
- Remember when I used to write about dating? Yeah, neither do I.
Is there anything you want to know? Leave a comment on the post, ask me (temporarily open), or you can shoot an email over to email@example.com.
I’m slow to post these days (clearly) but if you’d like, you can follow me on Instagram or Twitter (@eminnycity). I’m slightly better on those social media fronts..but just barely.
Here’s some stuff to look at if you haven’t already seen it…
(*no they didn’t)
Yesterday afternoon, when I heard that Joan Rivers had passed, I was a bit surprised to find myself feeling uncharacteristically sad. My heart went straight to Melissa. I posted the below picture just about 2 years ago (making the picture approx.4 years old) and had forgotten about it until a friend reminded me this morning…
Look closely at this picture…
2 years and 12 lbs ago…
I have no idea where this photo was taken but a friend from college just sent it to me because this is what comes up when you search for Joan Rivers on Wikipedia.
Best photo bomb (kind of) ever.